One Step Behind Standing on the porch you pulled out a pack Said I don't do this too often Rain falling on the rooftops We played our songs in the study cave As the hours came and passed away Sipped dark tea and talked of God Told me stories about Mexico And all the women you've had come and go They all ended up being crazy But you know I like your advice You always help me reanalyze All of my naive assumptions Funny how our lives divide I've always been one step behind Well, now I see that it all makes sense We're going opposite directions Going back to school and working overtime You've been saving up for another life It's the way things go it's the next step forward But I bought into that artist dream That if you tell the truth, then it sets you free To be shut out of the city Funny how lives coincide I've always been one thought behind Well, now I see that it all makes sense There are no other options Now I see that it all makes sense You had no other options

Born on a hiking trail New Year's Eve in the city jail They're gonna run these boys out on a rail If we don't put down our pens Cause you know we've got a lot to say The absurdity of here today Brothers now until the grave Cross town city sons These Literature bums Past the pantheon of the city lights Raven Greyhounds passing by With the characters still in our minds Or maybe they're just us From the Bible to the pool house bar The casino, trampled gold stars Taught us to see eye to eye And stick to our guns These Literature bums So if you start feeling out of place Well, that's where we belong Getting through another day To write another page or song Get out those art museum blues Those dishwash, busboy, coffee shop moods There's nothing new under the sun Except these Literature bums

Fortified Closing another road Let down and it feels like home But i’ve been so much better than before Now that I don’t need you around anymore See the Tin Man in my child eyes Looking older from saying goodbye But somehow I found it, bottom dresser drawer The secret to not feeling bad anymore And when you leave That’s fine with me I’m fortified I'm lost at sea You tried me on for size But I didn’t quite fit you right Talking and laughing, lying across the floor Sorry, I don’t need to know you anymore Goodbye, I don't feel anything anymore But when you leave Don’t look at me I’m fortified I'm lost at sea

Art Museum You walk alone at the art museum With a camera hanging from your neck For the paintings hanging on the walls By those whose fame came after death No one saw the genius at the time In the wild strokes and troubled mind Empty pockets and lonely life To bring us all we hold inside A ship was sinking in the sea Of cobalt blue and forest green You took a picture of the scene No longer trust real memories Because they all become blurs Till you can't remember Like that park bench of the past You drew a poem on my hand Now all the ink has bled away And no message still remains As you search for someone new To kill your time with you You broke down at a traffic light By the city limit one flash flood night The signals changed from green to red Neon Jackson Pollock on wet cement Sometimes you realize where you are Feel the tangible beating of your heart As it clicks like a clock in your chest Speeds up slows down but never rests And tells us everything that's wrong Creates a vacuum where love belongs But it isn't only that this time But watching the universe unwind And your dark hair is hanging down Cause you lay so low in your college town With your apartment and your new friends And your new job it's a dead end Cause you can't envision a life to lead Or something you could see yourself doing For the rest of your time Ain't it great to be alive

Keep It Positive My friend Dorothy went to school with me And we both got our degrees After all the hassle we tossed our tassel Dunce caps off into the sea I was living still at my parents house My mind filled with arrogant doubt I'm gonna be famous I just don't know how That's when Dorothy went off and killed herself And I wandered hallways Calling out her name And nothing felt the same But hey that's yesterday Hey hey hey Gotta keep it positive And always stay Dosing antidepressants Cause they level out the scales And put wind in your sails And her family always blamed it on me Said I put it in her head But I'm haunted by her ghost when she wants me She said it was really them Cause they pushed her hard towards a career But they all had disappeared I said let me get one thing clear You should have been the one to steer Cause it was really your life The whole awful time Now the sun’s gone down on mine Ever since you died But I I I Learned to keep it positive That’s why I lie To myself and say I want to live Defendant out on bail Cause it puts wind in my sails But I'm a ship lost at sea Ever since you abandoned me And you're probably crying in hell Or glad to finally be by yourself But I can't know So I won't try Just wish you were Still alive Hey hey hey Gotta keep it positive And always stay Dosing antidepressants Cause they level out the scales And put wind in your sails But I I I Learned to keep it positive That’s why I lie To myself and say I want to live Defendant out on bail Cause You put wind in my sails

Susanna Susanna ran around like Mary She goes round downtown Her young tongue's been in so many Mouths by now And she disappears Never stays It’s been so many years Running in place Constance fills his head with Constant noise Always tries to impress All the boys And he keeps up with All the latest trends And he meets up with All Susanna’s friends Debby took a bottle of sleeping pills Laughed on her bedroom floor Making snow angels Constance and Susanna made out at her funeral Then they never spoke again And everything was cool And I push away The entire world Cause I’m tired of suicides And if the shoe fits girls And she disappears Never stays It’s been so many years Running in place Keeping up with The latest trends And meeting up with Susanna’s friends Debby took a bottle of sleeping pills Laughed on her bedroom floor Making snow angels With me Snow angels with me Snow angels with me

Sand and the Cold Waves I drive through the city and try to remember the good days Sand and the cold waves Wet towels and tide caves If things don't change I don't know how long that I have left Where I will go next I don't see an end Clothes on the carpet like victims of bombings They lay there Like the tangles in her hair As she slept through the day Thoughts are what kill you the words I'm repeating in my head Pain stops when you’re dead I have nothing left To give Words of a wash out tossing and turning in my bed My brothers say forget It is finished But the house is so empty when everyone else has gone to work I pace through the hallway I stare through old portraits And my dad said to tell him if anything ever got this bad Driving to the service Where we laid Thomas to rest But I keep my mouth shut and try to get through it on my own Closing doors and windows Staying out of view Asleep in my room And it comes out in my jokes the words I pretend that I don't mean But my friends are laughing They must feel the same And one confides in me and says she’s not sleeping Every night she stays up And cries till the sun’s up She says she feels ugly and can't stand the look of her body The cage that she's trapped in When the truth is opposite But I know there's nothing I can say to make her see different It's too strong a current The decision is hers to make Thoughts are what kill you the words I'm repeating in my head Pain stops when you’re dead I've have nothing left But I keep my mouth shut and try to get through it on my own Closing doors and windows Staying out of view Asleep in my room

Colossus You keep yourself away now Like I used to keep myself Hiding in your room don’t want to know the light of day All the pressure mounts and cumulates with things to say But no they won’t come out cause all you do is doubt your place And no one really knows How to approach The apparition in your stare But when you walk outside By yourself at night You see the solution in the air But don’t go through with it Don’t go through with it You give yourself a hard time I told myself the same lines Pace the kitchen floors and close the open doors and wait Wearing the same clothes spending too much time alone to change Up and down the hall watch the patterns on the wall rearrange And I want to meet you But every time I do there’s some colossus in between Through crowded small talk rooms The smoke and sad perfume I try to reach you as you leave Maybe some other time Maybe some other time

Nero I thought there were questions that no one was asking and I wanted to shine moonlight on But then I found there were answers that no one could live up to and I felt like the old Pantheon All my deities vanished into rabbit trails of myths and visitor hours assigned Through the Oculus moon shining on the empty gutted centers of my insides I had felt so prestigious as kings came to worship but now my religion is dead And the screams of the animals silenced by sacred knives no longer bleed penitence Nothing is worthless, no it's more like presents, wrap it up with ribbons and tape It's the thought that counts not the size or amount, in keeping those banshees at bay Like the seasides you've walked with your hands in each others trying not to let the pleasure escape But it longs to be killed like the fly in the sill or the mountaintop God of your faith Wait, wait for the the day Heaven is now, plastic and fake Signs all around saying don't go down The offer is free and it’s redeemable now But my brother's in hell 'cause he didn't believe The reasons to stay are the reasons to leave But Jesus you're true and I'm sticking with you Though I'm caught in the brambles of a catch-22 Lost in the weeds, choked by the thorns The same ones they pulled and your head was adorned On the day that you died for what you believed You said you were God and I said I was me Your disciples went out, set Rome ablaze Your words burned like fire as the emperor played But now we live in circus of wild pleasure seekers and the show is about to begin Girls look like clowns in all of their makeup with their clanging cymbals ringing thin To get the attention of a subdued procession of lion hearted boys who've been tamed Oh how you long to lead them with your hand on the chain to the cold comfort of their cage We don't know what's missing because nobody tells us and we no longer think for ourselves We just lay our head down and wearily look out through the bars of this wooden cell Wait, wait for the the day Heaven is now, plastic and fake Signs all around saying don't go down The offer is free and redeemable now But my brother's in hell 'cause he didn't believe The reasons to stay are the reasons to leave But Jesus you're true and I'm sticking with you Though I'm caught in the brambles of a catch-22 Lost in the weeds, choked by the thorns The same ones they pulled and your head was adorned On the day that you died for what you believed You said you were God and I said I was me Your disciples went out, set Rome ablaze Your words burn like fire as the emperor plays

Like Virginia Woolf Her clothes are coming off She steps into the shower Wash down those hours letting him in Is this all there is Another empty fifth The habit's getting expensive He's moved on and forgotten you She wished she was dead Staring straight ahead Tired of getting up and getting dressed We're here and we're gone Gone while we're here Hurt most by the one’s we let near He's moved on and forgotten you Sleeping with somebody new Laughing to tears driving down Piled rocks into your coat Pockets walking out Into the lake they found you cold Drowned like Virginia Woolf

Climbing Mount Moriah She knew just what to say To forever keep me away Scars forming across the stains Self portraits on her legs Rulers and X-acto blades Piñata smashed papier-mâché I thought I loved you feelings Passing tides crashing waves Across the endless shore of sand Abraham's star crossed children We’re climbing Mount Moriah Every soul’s alone with God A faith I cannot explain A doubt that plays out the same 15 with his father's gun Blood soaking mattress dead son The violence we all become The laughter right before the end Last ditch phone calls tossed out to friends Closed casket and line for refreshments I thought my love could save you But nothing I said could change you So now I have to let you go Cause I can't carry your weight Returning day after day To blame me for the choice you made A vision I cannot erase A prisoner gone to waste Well finally the tunnel’s ending I can see the Light Widening Soon we'll all be Laughing Soon we'll all be Laughing Soon we'll all be Laughing

Sea of Laughter It's not much but I love it how We just sit around the house Talking slow what comes to mind Like a poem that grows from the first line I’m baptized in a sea of laughter Forgot all that I thought mattered And collapsed to the carpet Out of my chair And Join in the chorus Of lungs running out of air Wiping the tears from our eyes Dreamt of the ocean far below As I tried to balance on a tightrope A shoe slipped off and I fell Woke up in warm blankets by myself But the fear still stayed left over Into the dark I stared and wondered What it's like to know your gonna die And the changes I should make in the meantime Could care less by the morning light Sat at the theater, turned off my phone Watched with the crowd, glad to be alone When the credits started walked to my car Passed the dancing fountain and the plaza guard And I tried not to think about her then She's probably just out with a friend And what's it to me, I'm free, a ship at sea So what if she sails, nothing gets to me Driving off into the night

Looking Out Sleeping in passed the alarm Bell ringing in my ear Sitting on the side of the bed Blinking my eyes clear Already forgotten yesterday Tomorrow seems too far away And so does now But i'm trying not to stay checked out I'm trying not to stay checked out I don't want to be checked out I want to feel the ups and downs Again Son of God service Sunday Listen to Apollos speak If you want to throw the first stone Then throw it at me Wishing that the world would be made new Hoping for the best for me and you But it's war right now And I'm trying to get it figured out I want to get it figured out I want to get it figured out Start a whisper in the crowd Repent And I don't believe there's nothing left to see I think the Son will shine instead And wake the dead Like the prophets said To a glorious new day Where Love is born again On Earth as in Heaven Reading, thinking, writing, talking I'm not afraid to change my mind I'm more afraid of being sentenced Before I've been tried Climbing up the mountain for a better view Libraries and Anthills just to miss the truth But I found some now Just when time is running out I feel like time is running out I feel like time is running out The dunces are too loud To hear Meeting for coffee or whisky We both have too much to do She says she's gonna travel forever Just passing through But I never want to go anywhere I feel the same from pictures as when I am there And I'm here right now At the window looking out At the window looking out At the window looking out Watching dark horse clouds Come in And I don't believe there's nothing left to see It's just I can't seem to feel it Staring straight ahead Waiting for the end So I can get up and leave The theater and my friends Go home and go back to bed On Earth as in Heaven