1. |
Sounds Like Noise
01:26
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2. |
The Dancing House
01:39
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|
Don’t fall in love with me
I am a hopeless fool
I want to hold you but my heart is made of stone
And that’s irreversible
But you made me second guess
My commitment to loneliness
Walking along the river
Pointing out the view
Getting lost in the city with you
But I’ve gotta leave
Go home
Back to America you know
So this will have to be
A memory
A feeling
A reason to believe
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3. |
There She Wasn't
02:04
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|
Sinking stomach
There she wasn’t
What I want
And what I don’t know
Camouflaging
Keeping quiet
Here she comes
And there she goes
I froze
I froze
I froze
Mixing motives
Still exploding
Crashing cymbals in my dreams
Kindling and
Dwindling when
Trick candles relighting
Relight
My life
My life
My life
I tried
I tried
I tried
My life
My life...
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4. |
||||
|
Wind blew leaves down the sidewalk
As I held you as you cried in your room
You must have been a prophet
Cause you said that I’d be leaving you soon
But I don’t know who you are anymore
You tried so hard to leave me open door
When I was looking for a way
To never have been born
Drifting like a ship ashamed
My sails had all been torn
Closed the medicine cabinet
And crawled through the bathroom mirror
Where instead of my reflection
A long dark hallway appeared
But I don’t know where I am anymore
I hope I make it back to some kind of shore
Sitting in a living room
Watching the TV
Another wasted afternoon
Spent time traveling
Spent time traveling
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||||
5. |
It's a Long Way Down
01:05
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|
Yesterday was fountain
Pouring from my eyes
I climbed up the mountain
Just to see the lights
Of the city down below
Where you share your bed
With someone I don’t know
Push these thoughts from my head
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
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6. |
To Keep From Sinking
01:23
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|
Nothing to tell
Since I last saw you nothing’s changed
No new girl
No new stories
No big raise
Things aren’t how they used to be
I’m doing my best to keep from sinking
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7. |
Where's the Exit Please
01:25
|
|||
|
Am I still awake
I’ve been wandering for days
Down a hallway with no doors
Rows of portraits on the walls
But every face is blurred
As they speak in frantic words
But their meanings are absurd
I can’t return their calls
So I wait for a door to exit through
Is there something more
I’m meant to do
Before I leave this place forever
And all the portraits weep together
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8. |
You Never Met Me
01:19
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|
All of the gossips
Can play, “did you hear”
It’s not the first time
That I disappeared
I know your circles
I know where you’ll be
And I can guarantee
You never met me
The fun is over
Doomed from the start
You’re coming over
The Tin Man has no heart
Just a staircase
Down to the sea
And I can guarantee
You never met me
|
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9. |
Art Degree
01:56
|
|||
|
Is this what we’re coming to
You and I
Years of loving you
Years of trying
To make it work
And make the spark return
Oh winter’s come and the bridge is burned
And I’ll be leaving here
Oh so soon
All I do is hide inside my room
With half a résumé
And an art degree
I’m as good as dead
And so I plan to be
And i don’t know it now
But we both survive
And I don’t think of you now
Or want to die
I’m free
You’re free from me
I’m free
Our love is dead
|
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10. |
Devil All the Time
00:44
|
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|
I can be your devil
Devil all the time
I can be your seance
I can be your crime
I can be your mother
I can be your child
I can be crazy
Or I can be wild
Wild
|
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11. |
||||
|
Goddamn your silver lining
So sad I am driving
Off into the clouds
And I’ll never come back down
Oh no too much to drink
And so I puke in the sink
It’s a summer afternoon
And there is no reason to
Hate you
But I do
Not care if you survive
I would steal the flowers off your grave if you died
Cause I’m angry and alone
And I need your jokes inside my phone
Like before
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12. |
||||
|
I like your shoes
Red as a bloody wrist
Come over here baby doll
Give me a dirty kiss
I’m not looking for love
I’m looking for a wishing well
Scaffold to hang myself
I like your hair
Tangled as my fiancé
The one I found wrapped in plastic
By the lake
I’m not looking for her in you
I promise you
I’m looking for someone to
Hurt and leave confused
Confused
|
||||
13. |
||||
|
I didn’t want to be one
Who life left feeling numb
But driving home to singer song writers
All this crying makes me feel lighter
I lost the only girl I loved
But never close enough to touch
I was on a Jesus trip
She was an atheist
And when I sleep at night alone
Sometimes I feel I might explode
My wrists are screaming for some blood
Why am I so fucked up
I don’t even like this song
And I don’t even like myself
I wish I was somebody else
Why am I not somebody else
|
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14. |
||||
|
Cameras are talking to each other tonight
And I should be sleeping but I’m staring at the light
Telephone tell me that it will be alright
I’m not as alone as I feel like
My brother’s in the next room playing piano
A song never written
Just notes captured and let go
Only to exist in this tiny window of time
But it’s filling my heart where it’s hollow
|
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15. |
Case of the Doldrums
00:52
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|
Leveled out
Not that it matters
I'm still going nowhere fast
Comfortable
Slight case of the doldrums
Each day just feels like that last
But I’m looking forward to
Meeting a friend tonight
And searching like we always do
For answers we’ll never find
Like where God hides
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16. |
Empty Handed Again
01:46
|
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|
So here we are
Empty handed again
America caving in
Watch the prophet as he pours his coffee
Cynical
Or maybe I just chose
To laugh when I could have cried
It’s typical
I could just tiptoe
Or be dumb enough to pick a side
It’s circular
Mary went around
And found her tongue inside my mouth
It’s over
I’m empty as she empties me
Amazing Grace how dead the sound
We ran the song into the ground
It’s over
I wish it could mean something to me
Everyday I try my best to be saved
To live a life worthy of the empty grave
To be like you and never make any mistakes
Till my house sinks in the sand
And I still don’t understand
|
||||
17. |
||||
|
I’ve been elsewhere
I’ve been missing
I’ve been lost and i’ve been drifting
Eyes once shut are now wide open
Like the doors that I’ve been closing
I want to know what’s been wrong
Why I can’t finish these songs
So many verses that don’t ring true
This empty garage I’m singing to
I’ve been distant
And I want to know you name
And I’m pulled in all directions
But the center remains
|
||||
18. |
Shush
00:37
|
|||
|
I was sure I was lost
I was gone
For good
|
||||
19. |
||||
|
I saw a long lost friend last night
But I was no longer sober
And she was with her guy
So we didn’t talk
We didn’t sing
We didn’t realize anything
It’ll never be like it was before
Did my life move on without me
I wanted to be God’s mouthpiece
But lately I’m just empty
And the questions keep expanding
Oh it’s not so easy anymore
Drowned like Virginia Woolf
|
||||
20. |
Hollow Inside
00:54
|
|||
|
All the lovely feelings died
I’m at another gathering tonight
With the clever sparkle in my eyes
But I’m hollow inside
Hollow inside
Who’s counting all these drinks
I’m gonna
Crawl behind the house I think
And lay me
Down on the concrete
Cause I’m sinking beneath
Sinking beneath
|
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21. |
Beautiful Blasphemies
01:06
|
|||
|
We drink and say beautiful blasphemies
At the kitchen sink you asked who wants a drink
I’d play the fool and they’d all laugh at me
Crash on the couch after the last would leave
But something slowly died
Now all I find
Are quiet nights
Driving home
To my room
To my reminder
There’s nothing new to see
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22. |
These Exciting Times
01:39
|
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|
Well I woke up in the morning
From the most beautiful dream
I was being buried alive
And my voice it wouldn’t scream
Then everything was blankets
And I drove to work asleep
All the cars were in a hurry
Late to where they hate to be
And that’s just life
It passes by
We live and die
And that’s alright
Cause there’s so many good shows on tonight
And if you’re still bored then try it high
Drink until your insides stoplight
Sing until you steal the spotlight
These exciting times
I’m going home to be alone
Goodnight
|
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23. |
Pall Malls
03:14
|
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|
I fell asleep a walking coma
I running circles around everyone I know now
The world is insecure
The world is insecure
And I'm fine
Wendy's pulling out her Pall Malls
I'm watching Vonnegut crashing down a stairwell
She's gossiping again
And talking with her hands
And I'm trying
To see the cat and see the cradle
Reflected in her eyes
Yeah I'm sure she's unstable
She won't be home tonight
She won't be home tonight
Keirkegaard left Regine Olsen
On the steps with her face buried in her hands
He's off to change the world
He's off to change the world
So am I
I fell asleep to Elliott Smith
Can't wait to see him at his next concert
(cause we love you)
Nothing is real to me
Nothing is real to me
Walls of White
See the cat and see the cradle
Vonnegut was right
Either/Or Man Either/Or Man
Fingers stretching twine
Fingers stretching twine
Wendy says lets Boko-maru
Her hair is tangled as we both take off our shoes
I want to see her soul
Sex drugs and Rock 'n' Roll
One of her kind
See the cat and see the cradle
Thanks for the ride
Yeah I'm sure she's unstable
But she laughs all the time
But she laughs all the time
But we laugh all the time
But we laugh all the time
But we laugh all the time
|
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24. |
I'll See You Soon
02:37
|
|||
|
It's snowing in my room
I'm sleeping right on through
My Angel nose red as a rose
Where did you where did you go
Drove by your house today
On the way to the cemetery
Put roses on your grave
I'll see you I'll see you soon
Can you stop showing up in my dreams
You make it you make it seem
Like one big misunderstanding
I wake up and throw on my clothes
My Angel where did you go
It's a simple afternoon
I'm sleeping quiet in my room
It's all I want to do
I'll see you I'll see you soon
|
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25. |
Flip of a Coin
02:58
|
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|
She's hitting me and screaming
That she doesn't want to live
That I stole all she could give
But I still don't give a shit
I'm an astronaut spacing
The fuck out of there
Sunk into my chair
Diver running out of air
Cause I feel as empty
As when I'm trying to write a song
A whole lot more touching
Could solve a lot of what's been wrong
But she doesn't want that now
And she probably never will
Yeah I'll probably just go home
And hope she doesn't kill herself
It's a flip of a coin
But I don't really have a choice
Well the whole thing blew over
She seemed on the up swing
And I held her in the covers
As she told me pretty things
But that was short lived
She went back to making threats
I'd drive over in a panic
And she'd sob into her bed
And I'd help her feel more lonely
Than when she was alone
Until I'd finally give up
Drive back to my parents home
And now it's nothing now
But time doesn't heal all wounds
The stories we tell ourselves
Are all that's ever been true
It's a flip of a coin
But I don't really have a choice
|
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26. |
Stonewalling for a Rose
02:21
|
|||
|
Baby there's nothing wrong
Make a mountain out a molehill if you want
But you know my love is true
When all your smoke clears
I'll be there for you
I'm watching you yell on mute
You're making ugly faces
I'm a statue
But you know I'm meant for you
When you're done fussing
Our love can resume
So don't make this last all night
Like all the other times
And soon you'll realize
It's no big deal
Baby
I try to apologize
But you say it all is lies
You don't want to be held tight
It's a big deal
Baby I'll change for you
I'm sorry for everything
I've put you through
So please give me the rose
Like on your Bachelor show
To the farthest lengths I'll go
To make you happy
|
||||
27. |
||||
|
Baby you’ve been seeing
Things that aren’t there
Crazy trying to find out
If I really care
I’ve been thinking the same thing
And since you keep on asking me
Well I guess it’s time leave
Well I guess it’s time leave
I’ll miss the lazy afternoons
Running fingers through your hair
But I can’t bring back the past babe
The feelings aren’t there
And now I never think of you
And that goes both ways I assume
No regrets
It was time to leave
No regrets
It was time to leave
|
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28. |
You're No Longer You
01:43
|
|||
|
You’re no longer the boy who I used to know before
You stare into blank space
Like a soldier at war
Deciding
Whether to stay here
Or desert us some dark night
I’m sinking like a refugee
Hoping you’ll be alright
But standing here by your side
I realize that you will survive
To climb the basement to the light
And lean to laugh again
But I know I won’t be there
You will leave me on the stairs
With all my tangled hair
Buried in my hands
Cause you never understood me
And you never saw what could be
If you just made the changes that I said
And that’s why I slammed all the doors
And left you standing at the airport
Trying to get it through your head
You’re no longer the boy who I used to know before
|
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29. |
I Love Feeling Empty
02:12
|
|||
|
Watching the raindrops
Roll down the windshield
Parked at the park on the hill
With the view
The one where on clear days
We could see downtown LA
But today everything’s gray
And I’m not here with you
Cause I love feeling empty
Like a jumper who’s jumping
Off of some beautiful bridge
And I know I won’t do it
But I’ve often thought through it
And it gives me some courage to live
And I hope soon you’re okay
That you don’t feel the same way
And you get well way before me
And you stop drawing pictures
On yourself with your fingers
And scratching your nails till they bleed
And I’ll miss you forever
But I’ll still probably never
Wish you were with me again
Walking through the bookstore
With a basket full of books for
My crowded shelves and piles
Of titles in my room
And I no longer think of you
And I know that you…
There was a second verse I was really happy with and lost.
Never found it again. So it goes.
|
||||
30. |
Say You'll Leave Me
03:19
|
|||
|
I knew you were the one to me
I would put up with anything
You said to me
I’d just turn to stone
A statue and leave you alone
With a catatonic punching bag
A mirror that showed you all you hate
About yourself and about us
The way you’d pull your hair out fuss
Ridiculous dreams that I’d crush
But never drew a drop of love
From me
I get up drive home and go to sleep
I’ll deal with this in the morning
If it’s still a big deal then we’ll see
Have fun staying up late sobbing
Say you’ll leave me
You won’t
Say you hate me
You don’t
Say you’re dying
I know
Say goodbye
And I go cold
I knew you thought you wanted me
But with all these haunted memories
Mixed in with long walks on the beach
Kissing in dorms and under trees
The music I wrote
Choking the notes
The split hurt worse than broken bones
The others that got intimate
Like cigarettes pressed into the skin
The denial that we both spun in
To the unfriends everyone else saw
Through waiting
To see if I’d see who I lost
And turn and fight for her at all costs
But Hollywood didn’t brainwash me
Life doesn’t play like a movie
Say you’ll return
I won’t
Say you love me
I don’t
Say it’s really over
I know
Say goodbye
And you go cold
White as snow
White as snow
White as snow
White as snow
|
||||
31. |
This Year
02:33
|
|||
|
This year
Nothing's the same
This year
My tough luck changed
Calendar's in the trash
Cause plans like airplanes crash
And disappear into the sea
Right there on airport TVs
This year
I don't want love
This year
I'm old enough
To block out the past
So no don't stop to ask
If I'm lost or found
To love is to stick around
This year
Jesus came back
This year
Parked on the tracks
The car crushed like confetti
Time Square in New York City
Cars blaring their horns
So much in store
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
(Jesus came back)
This year
This year
This year
This year
Nothing's the same
This year
Nothing's the same
This year
Nothing's the same
This year
Nothing's the same
|
||||
32. |
All Was Cool
00:42
|
|||
|
You park your car
Outside it’s cold
Rest you head on the steering wheel
Your friend that never will grow old
Oh you can see her still
Laughing at the bars
With her red lipstick
Toppling from stools
Begged her to get help
You knew she was sick
But she promised all was cool
|
||||
33. |
||||
|
After all this time
I thought it would resolve
All her things are flying all around the room
This isn’t how I pictured it
I’m starting to realize
There will never be a time
Where we are ever happy again
|
||||
34. |
I Was Your Mirror
01:54
|
|||
|
I can't get enough of you
Never get enough of you
I can't wait
For you to go away
I wan't to erase you
Someone replace you
But I've been stuck
The moon wants the sun
But you never really met me
I've just been reflecting
You back to you
That's why you've been confused
So obsessed with your self
With time apart you felt
You lost someone dear
But you had just lost your mirror
But I know all about you
Free as a bird without you
Leading me on
Talking me down like a mom
But I was a boy then
Almost a boyfriend
But now I'm a man
Drowned my last Peter Pan
|
||||
35. |
I wish we'd never met
03:07
|
|||
|
I never want to see your face again
I never want to hear your name even
I wish that we had never met or became friends
Who cares what happens to the rest of your life
I just want to see you tonight
You are too crazy too out of your mind
That’s why I always gave you all my time
You laughed so hard sometimes that you would cry
But now I can’t laugh I can’t even smile
I just want to be with you a while
Cause everything is so boring
Everything is so wrong
I can’t believe it can’t believe you
I never once wanted leave you
So how could you ever say goodbye
Who cares what happens when you lose your mind
What are you doing still in mine
Cause everything is so boring
Everything is so wrong
Wrong
|
||||
36. |
Banjo Girl
00:46
|
|||
|
You’re not too worried about
How things are gonna go
When we talk government
You laugh like it’s a joke
When they’re trying to quit
You ask who wants a smoke
See through the counterfeits
But never let it show
Always watching movies in your bedroom
Never let on about what you’ve been going through
|
||||
37. |
Heartbreak War
03:48
|
|||
|
The night was raging on
Spinning like a top
She's leaning on my friend
Impossible and taken
By herself
Self absorbed
Heart of stone
All alone
Golightly hall of mirrors
Confusing little muse
Opposite of true
Roads closed so none go through
To her shore
Open door
Heartbreak War
What's in store
Broken record spin
Thankful to be him
Flashing lightning
Kid with the light switch
Off and on
Just won't stop
Making me nauseous
How you live
Found her by the sink
Making her mess of things
I tied back her hair
And lay beside her there
On the cold floor
I adore
My heartbreak War
Nevermore
By herself
Self absorbed
Heart of stone
All alone
Should let you go
But I don't
Heart of stone
All alone
|
||||
38. |
Picture Frame
01:15
|
|||
|
When my heart is guarded
It makes it even harder
To figure out what's on my mind
I walk you to your car then
You shake your head and start it
And drive yourself from my life
And who knows when I'll see you
It's never really stated
It's always left in the air
Have you ever heard you never
Know her till she severs
The tight rope when your unprepared
Well ahaha
Here's this weightless falling
I'll start the new year in the waves
Oh no wait whose calling
I should have knew you would behave
In your own picture frame
From the hat i picked your name
And now you stay
Standing on the next page
|
||||
39. |
The Slowest Goodbye
02:01
|
|||
|
I’ve been watching you meeting up with
You other friends
Never really make time for me now
But I guess I understand
There were days when I was your shoes
And i would walk you through
All the circles in your double talk
That kept you so confused
You said I was your prophet
I could see all your next moves
You said I was your reason
When that bridge was calling for you
But after all those times I talked you down
You’re leaving me hanging out to dry
I won’t ask why
I’ve got too much pride
So I’ll let you keep dragging out
The slowest goodbye
|
||||
40. |
I'm Gonna Leave
03:53
|
|||
|
Another heart attack
You silly ferris wheel
Walking in the rain
A brother's heart felt laugh
Why are you nervous chill
Talk until your tame
I'm gonna leave now I've got
Nothing left to say
I can't believe how you thought
It's better left this way
Goodbye goodbye
Over till tomorrow
Hello Hello
Do you think I could borrow
A little more love from you
I'd settle for a talking to
Tea kettle sang the chalk board tune
Train sparking metal stop for you
I just left my house
But now I'm on my way
See you in a few
Try this test drive mouth
Cut down, right on
Bye maybe
I need to quit my youth
I'm gonna leave now I've got
Nothing left to say
I can't believe how you thought
It's better left this way
Goodbye goodbye
Over till tomorrow
Hello Hello
Do you think I could borrow
A little more love from you
I'd settle for a talking to
Tea kettle sang the chalk board tune
Train sparking metal stop for you
|
||||
41. |
All Directions
01:41
|
|||
|
Times have changed
I slept through
The alarm clock
Welcoming the
Gray morning fog rolling in
What will I do with today
Just follow it
Onto
The freeway stretching
Drive towards
Nothing to mention again
For days on end
For days on end
I got saved
The years they flew
I watched the towers tumble
I did my math equations
Brushed my teeth
Slept through college
Gargled and spit
And pulled in all directions
No one
Holds my attention
Again
Days on end
Before they end
|
||||
42. |
Down in the Cemetery
04:11
|
|||
|
Down in the cold grass we lay
Summer on display
Fingers through your hair
Come on take me there
All my foggiest feeling
Are rushing away
Run off to
Somewhere, Someday
Down in the cemetery
You ran after me
Flowers in your hair
Laughing free of care
All the epitaph sunsets
Are traveling round the world
Smiling as they wave
Run of to
Somewhere someday
Watching the rose parade new year
In my parents living room
The ball dropped the music stopped
The cameras disappeared
I found myself at a bus stop cleaning up the cheers
And spit of the cavalcade
Then a food stamp dollar cloud of smoke
Gave me a wink and wave
Said we're all waiting for a train
That goes the other way
But until then may we meet again
Somewhere Someday
Down in the canyon we screamed
Valley of the plague
Pulling out our hair
Burning in the lake
All these dry bone feelings
We thought we talked away
Are coming back with
Scissors lock weight
Once the leaves all fall
We'll trade it all for
Somewhere Someday
Kiss me now 'cause i need you
I need your body please
I'll give you my pain
If you help me wait
For somewhere someday
I'll give you my name
If you keep me safe
For somewhere someday
|
||||
43. |
It's All About the Money
03:44
|
|||
|
Money
I haven't thought enough about you
I know that you'll never let me down though
Whenever I need you you'll be around so
I'm not gonna worry about
Money
All you do is fill my life with beauty
You make my parents and my lovers love me
You shower down like raindrops from above me
How could I not love you
Money
You take all my time and leave me hungry
You make me look like I don't know what I'm doing
You make my friends talk behind my back about me
I don't know why you're always lousy
Money
Honey
Why do you always worry about the money
Don't say it's because I never have had any
I'm just looking out for our best interest
I know you get to interested in
Money
And it steals all of the sweetness from my Honey
Makes her take all my jokes seriously
She gets mad as a wasp mysteriously
All because I misplaced all our
Money
Running around the city like George Bailey
Mary's about to close up the Library
Mary, Joseph, Clarence someone help me
I'm jumping off the bridge all because
Money
Stabbed me in the back turned to see Brutus
Sold me out to the Sanhedrin like Judas
Kissed me on the cheek and then then new that
I was never gonna make good on my promise
I promise I'll pay you back all this Money
I'll pull it out of a top hat like it's a bunny
I'll lay down on my face and let you rob me
Oh I swear I'll do anything for
Money
I swear that I'll do anything for my
Money
How could I not love you all my
Money
I love you so much cause you're my
Money
I love you so much cause you're my
Money
Don't try to think that this song is something funny
Don't try to think that that last line was funny either
Cause it wasn't
Cause this song is about
Money
|
||||
44. |
I Hear the Warning Bells
00:55
|
|||
|
I hear the warning bells
Calling my name
I see a deep black well
In a forest maze
But I’m holding out
For these days to pass
My heart’s cold for now
But no feeling last forever
|
||||
45. |
The Last Phone Call
02:59
|
|||
|
When you called me that one last time
I was caught by surprise
That you thought I would return
Didn’t realize the bridge was burned
For good
For bad
I could
Go back
But I won’t
After the funeral you were mad at me
But I felt like I do normally
Pretending I don’t feel anything
Good or bad
I shouldn’t laugh
But I am
It’s a crying shame
That I left you the way I did
And that you never changed
The way I did
I guess you were right
I never loved you right
|
||||
46. |
Pull Me from the Waves
02:19
|
|||
|
We walk to the corner store
The record player spins
I love you
I love you
Pull me from the waves
Pull me from the waves
Pull me from the waves
I want to live again
|
||||
47. |
Church Echoing Prayer
00:29
|
|||
48. |
||||
|
Please Spirit
Fill up the voids that are in my soul
Let joy wash over the doubts that
Have got me fooled
Cause I love who I am
When I’m seeing through your eyes
When I’m no longer concerned
By the chaos of my life
And my brothers and sisters seem
To have seen it too
Till we’re shining like a camera
Flash in a dark room
And our spirits once so dead
Are coming back to life
The graveyard
Sleeping in the winter
Planted like seeds
Wait for the birth and becoming
Spring that will be
Cause death could not maintain
It’s hollow victory
It’s tyranny here is ending
With one word from the King
And our bodies once so dead
Will come back to life
|
||||
49. |
||||
|
Picture perfect life
Picture perfect house
Picture perfect wife
I'm picture perfect all the time
I am not afraid to die
To be lowered in a coffin of pine
A time capsule for the afterlife
Decaying like a seed in time
Till we meet again
Won't you join me my friend
Transcend
Picture perfect kids
Picture perfect cars
Picture perfect traveling
I am not unravelling
I never feel alone or sad
I've never felt the least bit bad
I'm not standing on a bridge
I haven't lost all will to live
Till we meet again
Won't you join me my friend
Transcend
Heaven is amazing
Look at all the stars
Look at all the angels
Flying in an arch
Hypodermic needles
Everyone is clean
Everyone is happy
Everyone's like me
Picture perfect death
Everyone in black
Rain from the gray clouds
Not a single laugh
Picture perfect eulogy
I was all I was told to be
As lay down for the final sleep
And meet my savior finally
Until we meet again
Won't you join me my friend
Transcend
|
||||
50. |
At Church
03:32
|
|||
|
We are the confused
Congregation
Gathered in this place
Here to seek Your face
The band's up on the stage
Singing about milky ways
Stretching so far removed
From the stories in this room
Singing Holy Spirit come
Fill our hearts with Your Love
We want to see You move
But we doubt we're going to
The parking lots a mess
Don't make eye contact with
The the mental patient
Patiently waiting for friends
In the foyer
We're intellectual
Running calculations
The pastor must not read
Quite as much as me
Who allows a holocaust
Blood dripping from a cross
How can one man pay the cost
Of all that we have lost
Singing Jesus paid it all
Turned water into alcohol
That's why we're drinking all week
And say his name like a speakeasy
But we really want pure hearts
In our heart of hearts
And to be enough for You
When You tell us the truth
About who we are
|
||||
51. |
Becoming New (New)
03:18
|
|||
|
Days bleed into another
Someday we'll all be together
But until then
I'll drive the freeways to my brothers
Read my books and pull my covers over my head
Block out that morning sun
Stay buried and hidden until kingdom come
Young love kissing on park blankets
Promising naive and naked fruit from the trees
But like all who've gone before them
They will stumble from the garden able to see
The sand and the cold waves
The sun that is setting alone on what remains
So I just breathe and sleep
In dreams at night I see like a sentence
Or a guide inside of me
Set the captives free
And forgive as we forgive
The birth and becoming
The end and beginning
Winter covers like a blanket
Poets screaming in the attic
Love is Knowing
Through the fall you watched me suffer
But held my hand and I recovered
Gratefully
Now everyday above zero
Is a good day to be here
A good day to be known
So everywhere I see the sacred
Light shining through the darkness on holy ground
And the Spirit moving slow and secret
Whispering with honey sweetness in our mouths
On all those simple sidewalk nights
We thought of the strange way events seemed to align
So I'm thankful to be
Each new puzzle piece of emotion
Nothing is what it seems
Set the captives free
And forgive as we forgive
The birth and becoming
The end and beginning
The birth and becoming
The end's the beginning
|
||||
52. |
That Old Salvation
03:48
|
|||
|
Some days you won't get out of bed
Sleep until the night
Moon rising over the hill
Orange county
Wake up you're reaching for your phone
The glowing circus
You've been away for so long
Feeling nervous
Where is that old salvation
From the backlit screen
Shining in your eyes
It's an endless sea
Of information
The golden road
But if so
Why do we feel alone
And now your keeping on the move
Pushing out the pointless
Feeling that you aren't what you do
But what you say you are
No longer think of the future
Live in the present
Or else the dark thoughts will return
It isn't worth it
This is the new salvation
Living day by day
And when calamity comes
You can say "Hooray"
I always figured it would end this way
But I put it from my mind
We're all prisoners of time
Just like the language that you can't understand
Or the chalkboard full of the professor's math
Just like the God of Love with His blinding Wrath
You know someday you'll see
Where all of this leads
Someday you'll see
Someday you'll see
Someday you'll see
Where all of this leads
|
||||
53. |
||||
|
Now I don’t feel quite so ashamed
To be who I am everyday
No longer part of the charade
Of holiness that was my cage
There’s the letter of the Law
And there’s the Spirit of God
|
||||
54. |
||||
|
You can throw stones or you can kick up dust
You can shout or keep your mouth shut
All I know is you're not like us
You can leave out here sane
Don't want the girls or the money
Don't want the fame or anybody
To follow me around
To follow me around
I used to think that the world would end
Before I found indifference
Jesus coming back for his friends
You can leave out here sane
I want to live the questions
Don't tell me the answer
Life is a mystery
Let's keep it that way
Let's keep it that way
I slit my wrists and blow out my brains
But that's just in my imagination
Triggered by some underlying pain
But I can leave out here sane
This is a beautiful day
Walking in the sun
So happy to be awake
Glad to be anyone
Glad to be anyone
|
||||
55. |
Ditch
02:52
|
|||
|
You steer the car off of the road
Into a ditch
And call the cops on yourself
Drunk driving late
On a starless night
I light a cigarette and crush it under my shoe
Trying heroin behind the barn
Your baby sister
Turned her life into a car alarm
As she snatches the bag
Out of the shattered glass
Either that or sex
To get another fix
Pose for a camera
After a line of coke
God’s up there laughing
At his hilarious joke
I’ve got a cancer
Living inside my bones
Standing on a bridge
This is the way I go
No more motel rooms
No more trash bag corpses
Your mom's turning blue
As she overdoses
No hope
|
||||
56. |
Shaken
03:11
|
|||
|
It's been two months now
Since you sat in the garage
With the windows down
And the engine on
And no one came home
Until you were gone
Now I drive home
Bury myself in bed
Cause my love's still growing
Even though you're dead
And I was gonna tell you we should never part
Cause you've sunken deep deep into my heart
And I'm shaken
Shaken
And I'm shaken
Shaken
(what's the point?)
|
||||
57. |
We're All Just Kids
05:57
|
|||
|
Sitting in the shower and the drops they fall like rain
The water heater's going cold
Watch my thoughts pour down the drain
I slept in so late that in a few hours
The sun will fade to black and
The credits will dance again
The other night I read a journal entry
I don't like who wrote it
Was a bit too much like me cynical
So hard to see yourself through someone else's eyes
You feel you're in the spotlight but you're blurred off to the side
In their view
Gotta find your own way
Don't expect a helping hand
Life is only a game
Play it the best you can
We chose to be here before our life began
No one to blame but yourself
Give up on Mom and Dad
Cause we are all just kids
We are all just kids
We are all just kids
It's always the first time
It's always the last time
It's always
It's always
It's always weightless
How do you know if you've been drinking too much
I think I lost the vision I don't think I'm who I was
When I'd look up at the clouds
And wonder when He's coming back
Now when I think about it
I shake my head and laugh
Hahaha
All my crazy relatives think I'm out of my mind
But I see no cat and cradle
Only fingers stretching twine
Give me a reason to live my life like you
See it all in black and white
Believing facts are truth
You gotta find your own way
Don't expect a helping hand
Life is only a game
Play it all the best you can
We chose to be here before our life began
No one to blame but yourself
Give up on mom and dad
Cause they are all just kids
We are all still kids
We are all just kids
It's always the first time
It's always the last time
It's always
It's always
It's always weightless
|
||||
58. |
||||
|
Newspaper coffee and payments
I’ve got someone on the other line
But the kids are doing fine
The kids are doing fine
Circle spiral and sunset
Time to watch the credits roll
And my life is in control
My life is in control
Flowers for her birthday
Bottled water under the stairs
But my wife she doesn’t care
My wife she doesn’t care
And when they stopped talking to me
That’s when it kind of hurt
But I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
I’m climbing up the ladder
|
||||
59. |
Cousin Damocles
02:03
|
|||
|
We walked down
To the corner store
To buy ourselves some beer
Flickering street lights
Sidewalk lines
A handful of glass doors
Clinking bottles
Got back inside
Talking slow what comes to mind
Another Wednesday night
On life support
Swimming pool
Drifting on a raft
College graduate
Soaking in the sun
Brand new shoes
Walking like a king
My cousin Damocles
Fate will always loom
The sound of rain
Falling in the night
Is my promise land
My rest my paradise
|
||||
60. |
Friendships Sailed
02:24
|
|||
|
Next time I see you
I’ll know that I have changed
We try so hard to stay ourselves
But the shelves get rearranged
Some nights we’ll sit down
And the hours pass like trains
So glad I found someone who remains
Along the same track as me
When all my friendships sailed away
At the end of middle school
I sat there standing by the shore
The exception to the rule
Maybe that’s why I have no trouble saying goodbye
Arguing with myself whether it’s even worth a try
Keep walking these tracks just me
|
||||
61. |
Check Mate
03:29
|
|||
|
Sidewalk inside of me
A stolen melody
Days in the park where we sang
With the sorrows of life
Wandering through the night
Aimlessly
Two confused kids
So much in common
Searching for that sense of awe
And wonder we never found
Turned the world upside-down
Till finally one of us saw
That our negative perspectives
Developed like film strips
The friendship we both adore
I saw things in black and white
We'd stay up the whole night
Check mate on the chess board
Can't believe what I did to Anne
Or what she did to me
Love is like Russian roulette
You spin the chamber and aim
The gun to your sleepless brain
Who would have thought I'd get
The bullet one out of six
Surrounded by witnesses
Everyone that I know
But somehow I survived
Stubbled out the tunnel light
To the country road
Still trapped in my double mind
Dear in the headlights
Hoping for peace on earth
Or things to get easier
The road signs that ease the fear
Meandering sense of self worth
I keep meaning to come and visit you
On the train
I missed Sonoma won't miss New Mexico
Sorry for the wait
I used to worry that the distance would distance us
But nothing's changed
We write
We meet up compare notes and discuss
And somehow keep up the same pace
|
||||
62. |
Escher Staircase
04:27
|
|||
|
Dirty sidewalks
Color store lights
Cars and people
Saturday night
Cup of ice cream
Beet and goat cheese
Yours was avocado
A couple brother
Making our way
Around the circle
In this time and place
Last night at the park
Sitting on the swings
Trying to get sober
After too many drinks
Jacob and Albert
Braden and me
Talking about our music
Art and poetry
Always could be better
Always something wrong
What if no one listens
And the spark is gone
Am I wasting my time again
I want to make my mark like shoes in wet cement
But what could be better than getting drunk with friends
Laugh until our sides ache in the now that never ends
Little conversation
At the health food store
With the cute cashier
I’ve seen a few times before
Was there a connection
The way she said goodbye
Caught a slight inflection
Maybe some other time
Anything could happen
Hey you never know
Just cause it hasn’t
Doesn’t mean that it won’t
Sleeping in is easy
I do it all the time
Wake up in the afternoon
Feeling alive
Some say I’m lazy
But I’ve got my own pace
Wave each time they pass me
On the Escher Staircase
Am I wasting my time again
I want to make my mark like shoes in wet cement
But what could be better than getting drunk with friends
Laugh until our sides ache in the now that never ends
|
||||
63. |
Fell Down A Wishing Well
03:38
|
|||
|
My hands they tremble like a leaf
I’ve got to tell you I might leave
In a day or two
The stars are going down the street
I make good of your enemies
No one’s gonna fuck with me I swear
Cigarettes thrown on the ground
It’s like I grew up in a boxing square
Blood on your dressing gown
Goddamn you’ve got a way with words
And right now I wanna hide under the earth
I fell down a well
It was a wishing well
I fell down a well
It was a wishing well
She has a camera for her eyes
We grew up learning only
lies and lies and lies
No one’s gonna fuck with me I swear
Cigarettes thrown on the ground
It’s like you grew up in a boxing square
Blood on your dressing gown
Goddamn you’ve got a way with words
And right now I wanna hide under the earth
I fell down a well
It was a wishing well
I fell down a well
It was a wishing well
Tell me was it worth it to be lost at sea
Tell me will you visit when the cops catch
Oh I’ve been feeling nervous for eternity
Broke as hell and proud living the low life dream
Low life dream
Low life dream
Goddamn you’ve got a way with words
And right now I wanna hid under the earth
I fell down a well
It was a wishing well
I fell down a well
It was a wishing well
|
||||
64. |
Making an Appearance
01:30
|
|||
|
We all make our appearance
Then head back to our ways
A table full of parents
The irony of age
No real ties but bloodlines
Jokes to keep the peace
Ice cream and apple pies
Until it’s time to leave
I tell my Grandpa nothing’s new
I haven’t fell in love
Every morning hitting snooze
Don’t want to get back up
Yeah I’ll admit I’ve been depressed
But I’m better than I was
Cause I repress the voice the says
I’m never good enough
Enough
|
||||
65. |
Candy Philosophy
02:47
|
|||
|
Driving the freeway street
Back to my own beat
My room my quite cage
Silent and delayed
Shut all of the noises out
Take a chance to slow down
Friends swollen to their screens
Look up and smile at me
TV shows so it goes
Make me feel hollow
I read my books and lay in bed
Keep my thoughts from all of them
Candy philosophy
Kids made of ice-cream
Summer sunset kissing beach
You know that i'm scared to be
Anyone someone could know
Anything but all alone
Trying hard to act myself
Feel like somebody else
Afraid of the things I say
In the morning they replay
Shake my head and wonder why
They all say come back tonight
But I don't want to go
I'm tired of laughing
Like life's a big joke
And it don't mean a thing
Are you really as happy
As it seems like you are
Taking pictures of friends
Crowding in at the bars
Cause I don't know
I just don't know
Maybe you are
And Maybe you're not
Maybe I can't put myself in your shoes
And this is what you want
But I sure don't
No I don't
No I don't
No I don't
|
||||
66. |
Broken Record
02:40
|
|||
|
I talk a lot about being an artist
But I rarely draw a single line
I'm wasting all my time
Finding all of the answers
But haven't found the right theme
When I get home from work
I'm way too tired
To try to become what I want to be
I'm telling everyone I've got something coming
But all I do is read and sleep
I'm a broken record
I'm a wind up toy
I've got no discipline
I just keep on saying
Soon I'm gonna make something worth seeing
Soon I'm gonna be a poster child
Everyone will know just what I'm thinking
When I'm their heart and soul
Why am I naturally so self defeating
Why do I give up before I try
I'm following the path of least resistance
Till every bridge is burned
The time has come for me to make some changes
I've already come quite a long way
"Think less and do more"
That's my new motto
Till I'm the character I've faked
This is for the record
I'm a new man
Look out here I come
I drowned my last Peter Pan
Soon I'm gonna make something worth seeing
Soon I'm gonna be a poster child
Everybody knows just what I'm doing
Cause I'm your heart and soul
Cause I'm your heart and soul
|
||||
67. |
Drunk Passenger
01:43
|
|||
|
I’ve got nothing to say to you
It’s like I died but my ghost stayed to
Hang around at these gatherings
Where you have to shout to hear a thing
What’s that you say
One more time
What’s that you say
Oh
Goodnight
On the drive home the freeway blurs
I’m talkative as a passenger
Overthinking every word
That I said wrong but none of hers
I’m the only one who’s strange
I feel so out of place
|
||||
68. |
One Day at Time
02:40
|
|||
|
One day at a time
Wake up then rewind
I’ll try to be
The ideal me
Like the one I’ve seen
In the magazines
And the TV screens
At church gatherings
Parents want from me
A man not a comedy
Everything a woman seeks
So disappointing
Walk the tight rope line
In the bright spotlight
Till the curtains red
Till we fall in bed
The bright shining dress
The kids and the mess
The awkward fumbled sex
Well what did you expect
Perfect and nothing less
Well was it worth the yes
Of course but then again
I thought it would feel different
|
||||
69. |
||||
|
There's a city tunnel underground that shoots you out
Onto the main highway through downtown
Corner clubs and traffic lights
Plaster paint and neon signs
At the airport I watched you take off your shoes
Place them in the plastic tubs and file through
Check points and one last waves
Revolving doors and loading lanes
I'll see you on the other side
I dug a hole at the beach as a kid
I dug that ditch so deep and that's where I hid
The water came and it sold me out
Cough choked from my nose and mouth
There's not much I'd like to do before I die
It's all been done before and who am I
I hope I don't get what I want
I hope my whole life I was wrong
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side
|
||||
70. |
All Good Things Must End
01:27
|
|||
|
A group of us went down
To the seaside last night
Stared out at the water
As it tumbled in the light of the moon
Summer came and went
Waiting for the rain
To pour down from the heavens
In it’s defused light and gray
I stared out my window
As it falls in the street
A peaceful feeling washing over me
And I know you are out there
Doing the same
I hope you’re doing alright on your separate way
All good things must end
|
||||
71. |
I Wouldn't Mind
04:52
|
|||
|
There’s snow on the mountains
The storm cleared the brown tint
And I can see for miles
At least for a while
The gray clouds are coming
We’re due for another one
I woke in the night
To the cars driving by
In the rain
And I wouldn’t mind
Someone by my side
Who understood
And let it slide
That I am no good
Most the time
That I feel no good
Most the time
She’s heading back on an airplane
It’s all up in the air while I wait
To see if it’ll take this time
Or miss the last train like last time
And I wouldn’t mind
Someone by my side
Who understood
And let it slide
That I am no good
Most the time
That I feel no good
Most the time
And raindrops fall all around my bedroom
Where the posters hang from painted white washed walls
It’s the sweetest white noise I could imagine
Rejoicing at the God of Absurdity
The one I can’t reach
Or is it
Can’t reach me
And I wouldn’t mind
Someone by my side
Who understood
And let it slide
That I am no good
Most the time
That I feel no good
Most the time
That I feel just no good at all
Most my life
|
||||
72. |
If You're Not In
04:00
|
|||
|
Another day
Getting through the blue mood that settled in my face
Waiting for the sun to set and blankets where my mind can get erased
But I dreamt of you and you treated me so much better than before
But it’s just like you to want to leave before I don’t
Want you around anymore
Another year
I know I’d never make it if I didn’t look above
Old town theater watch the lead role take a beating
But they always get back up
And I wanted to do the same for you but I do not think i can
Cause I’m not in if you’re not in
And so i’ll burying you in the past
So sleep it off
Fill my time
Goodbye
I don’t mind
It’s nothing to me now
Nothing to think about
I’m used to the let down
It feels like home now
See the tin man in my child-eyes
November
Strolling passed the driveways to a park full of dead trees
Months have passed and I barely can remember
How you left me like their leaves
And I looked for you but the plans fell through
And I stayed shut in my room
Now summer’s dead and winter’s ahead
And it will erase any memory of you
So sleep it off
Fill my time
Forget about
I don’t mind
It’s nothing to me now
Nothing to think about
I’m used to get let down
It feels like home now
Looking older from saying goodbye
|
||||
73. |
Now I Live In Libraries
02:09
|
|||
|
Now I live in libraries
I don't need a soul
These books can think my thoughts for me
Tired of getting old
I fall asleep in black and white
Long to be hot or cold
But all I feel is numb tonight
With no sweetheart to hold
Trying to live my dreams
But maybe it's time to sleep
Now the trauma of my past
Has sunk into the sea
Don't understand this nervousness
That keeps drowning me
But I'm still crazy as a kid
With a couple drinks
And I don't keep my feelings hid
I'll tell you what I think
But when everybody leaves
I come down from the ceiling
|
||||
74. |
Window of Opportunity
02:02
|
|||
|
What are you gonna do with the rest of your time
I've got no idea what to do with mine
Writing songs, reading books, and spinning used cd's
I buy them for my car I know they're obsolete
Eclipsed by the next best thing
Window of opportunity
The world moved on without me
I like the way it used to be
Before all these screens replaced reality
Sitting on the porch staring at the street
Remembering all those nights that you stayed up with me
When we were so young had so much energy
Not scared of death life or eternity
Now we're both working full time
Looking for God because we're bored with life
Seen that done it before
Is this it or is there something more
That I just don't see
Right in front of me
|
||||
75. |
Hello Sister
01:14
|
|||
|
Well brother brother
Come and see
I made a painting
Come and see
What is it sister
Let me see
It's a house
It's a tree
There I see it
I can tell
Hey did you do this by yourself
Well yes I did
Gleaming eyes
But you can keep it
If you like
Well hello son
How was work
Hello mom
It was good
Hello son
Hello Dad
Things are things
|
||||
76. |
||||
|
When two people get together
Then you have two points of view
One is right as the other
If the others sees like you
Yesterday I went to church
Slept the whole service through
Not too much I hadn’t heard
And the rest wasn’t true
So much confusion
Misunderstanding
Everywhere I go
I guess we’ll see clear
At the ending
When all the trumpets blow
And the plot line is exposed
Clap as the curtains close
It’s easy to make mistakes
Hard to have the courage to
But nothing blundered nothing gained
No more hiding in my room
But do I have what it takes
To stand on stage and tell the truth
The audience wants it tame
But I keep giving them the blues
So much confusion
Misunderstanding
Everywhere I go
I guess we’ll see clear
At the ending
When all the trumpets blow
And the plot line is exposed
Clap as the curtains close
|
||||
77. |
She Won't Be Coming Back
03:09
|
|||
|
I just want to hear from you
But you already said you're through
Everything's so empty as I sit and wait
For nothing
Withdrawal like an addict now
I just need a dose somehow
It's so hard to cut you out
And come down from the ceiling
Sitting at a friend's house
Thinking how it turned out
Everyone is coupled up but me
And I know you would have liked them
And I know they would have liked you
But some things will just never be
Don't don't don't don't don't don't go
Oh oh oh oh oh oh no
Slowly feeling alright
Slowly telling my mind
I'll forget all about you
As soon as I find
Some sort of replacement
Some beautiful distraction
To touch and hold and forget
I ever knew you
But now it's just a fever
You're ghost haunting the theater
Of my broken mind
Saying don't believe her
Soon so soon you'll see her
Walking back to you big smile
Don't don't don't don't don't don't think like that
She won't won't won't won't won't be coming back
|
||||
78. |
||||
|
And I don't want to waste your time
The way that she wasted mine
But I know that you'll hate me someday
But hate is just like love
When it stays never gives up
Like flowers left out on a grave
Once lovely no withered and gray
|
||||
79. |
Plato's Cave
01:12
|
|||
|
I can’t win
When I keep
Pulling the rug out from
My bare feet
I barely
Dream of leaving the house
Spinning tops
Will topple over
I’d pull a petal off
A four leaf clover
Drinking all day
Like there’s no hangover
Hippie squaring off
With a bulldozer
Wilt like a flower
When I get sad
Forget the power
Of pen and sketch pad
Scared its a circle
But what if it’s a wheel
Or film wound up on
A movie real
Why do I get so jaded
I no longer feel
What if this failure
Is how I heal
And walk from this cave
Into the light
A dog who saw color
But couldn’t quite describe
|
||||
80. |
||||
81. |
Double-Bind Game
02:07
|
|||
|
Left you on the stairs and followed the hallway
To the walk the door the car and the rain
And I saw you peak out from the blinds under your bedroom window
But I knew it was the right time to let you go
Cause my whole world was crashing down around me
Just like the waves you tried to drown me
Watch from the pier as the sun burnt out
Burn out
Burn out
Burn out
Held you told you showed you tried and failed you
My head ballooned so big I couldn’t leave the room
And you just crouched there crying smashed and dying craving salvation
But my mind was as vacant as the space between
The planets that spin and never explain
How long that they plan to stay
Theres’s too much pain in this double-bind game
You play
You play
You play
|
||||
82. |
Whisper On A Payphone
02:53
|
|||
|
Whisper from the window
Calling my name
Whisper from the bathroom
Under the drain
Bottle in the cabinet
Pills I won't take
This is my house
But it keeps me awake
My cat jumps on the couch
Then climbs onto my lap
Whispers are so loud now
I'm starting to laugh
Scratching on his head
Cat starts to purr
I'm watching for movement
From the furniture
Oh let me know
When you'll be back to visit
Like a few months ago
The TV is all the company that I know
But it keeps changing channels on its own
Calling from a pay phone
Locked out of my house
I don't know where my keys went
I looked all around
Can you catch the next flight
I'll pay for your meals
I don't need the pills now
My mind has been healed
Bright lights in the hospital
Sheets made of snow
Nicer than the cop's backseat vehicle
The nurses are like angels
You'd love to see
When do you think you can
Come and get me?
Oh let me know
When they say I can go home
The cat's probably stolen all the neighborhood food
But he'll be missing me by now
Wouldn't you?
|
||||
83. |
||||
|
I’ve seen the flowers bloom
Stretched out across your room
Where we would sleep and sing and say
Nothing means nothing now
Or ever did anyhow
Its all the same to me here
Driving on central square
The tangles in your hair
Made it down into your heart
But when you’re nothing new
What is there left to do
But wait around for the end
Where the world spins spiraling out
And it’s only over for you
So much regret
Laying in bed
All the love I gave to you
When we had nothing left to lose
Nothing left to lose
Sacred and satisfied
Dream of another life
And no more suicide sons/songs
Looking for somethings more
Opening every door
That I had shut on my self
It’s like I said to you, all lies just tell the truth
When you are looking for it
So keep your thoughts inside
Just along for the ride
Never come out of your shell
Where the world spins spiraling out
And it’s only over for you
So much regret
Laying in bed
All the love I gave to you
When we had nothing left to lose
Nothing left to lose
|
||||
84. |
||||
|
You loaded your suitcase
Like a pitstop at a drag race
Said I’m getting out
We drove down the freeway
To an ashtray full of airplanes
Said see you around
I feel a little more empty
Than the day you flew out of town
You said come meet up with me
I said I have no money
Turned my pockets inside out
Please remember I’m a deadbeat
I’m a wash up and a retreat
I need to sew closed my mouth
For the promises I made you
Not a single has pulled through
They lay six feet down
They’re a little more empty
Than the day you flew out of town
You’d have to be a saint
To wait around for a lover like me
To climb back down to my own two feet
And there is one virtue that you hate
Forced upon you by cruel twists of fate
It’s patience oh
What nonsense no
Leaves you a little more empty
Than the day you flew out of town
But now I hear it in your voice now
That heartbreak that you pushed down
But now you’re wondering out loud
If I’ll ever turn around
But now you’re crying in Alaska
Made your way from Pennsylvania
I’m a coffin
I don’t blame ya
For feeling left hung out
To dry
Left to die
I’ve gone wild and untamed
I’m a little more awake
I’ve slept away my doubts
But i’m still tied up in shackles
All my demons still cackle
At my head in the clouds
I’m a little more useless
Than the day you flew out of town
But now you’re shooting your pictures
Readjusting the aperture
On the fishing boat bow
And the garden you left me
Is overgrown like crazy
I’ve got nothing weeded out
I’m a little more useless
Than the day your flew out of town
But now I’m caught in the sad daydream
That soon I’ll climb up on my steed
And sweep you off your own two feet
But there is one virtue you must see
If you’re ever gonna be with me
It’s follow through
With what I plan to do
I’m a little more useless
Than the day your flew out of town
But now I hear it in your voice now
That heartbreak that you pushed down
But now you’re wondering out loud
If I’ll ever turn around
But now you’re crying in Alaska
Made your way from Pennsylvania
I’m a coffin
I don’t blame ya
For feeling left hung out
To dry
Left to die
We’re a little more empty
Than the day you flew out of town
|
||||
85. |
Sea Sick
06:24
|
|||
|
She says can you stop the car
I’m starting to feel sea sick
Stuck her head out my window
Like it was the edge of a cruise ship
I got the call about 1:45 am
She’s been telling me the same story
Since she stumbled in to my car
Said thanks for picking up boy
Oh those guys were so nice
They just kept buying me drinks
I had such a good time
And the whole night was free
I think I might have kissed them
But I really can’t remember
Please don’t think less of me
I feel like such a loser tonight
Just don’t hate me alright
When I get home boy
I’m just going to go in
Don’t want you getting any
Big ideas in your head
I know you treat me right
It’s just what other guys would do
Never mind I can’t see it
Yeah I guess that isn’t you
And besides
We’re just friends now
Get out of love while you can
She’s my girl but I ain’t her man
Get out of love while you can
Got back opened her door
She fell against me and the car
Pressed both her lips against mine
And kissed me really hard
Her breath smelled like the stuff
Girls use to clean their nails
There are some choices that I make
And some that I fail
To see as choices at all
And if you’re wondering
I didn’t take advantage
Just lead her up the stairs
And helped her to manage
To get her face above
The glassy white porcelain
Cough sputter watery eyes
Delivering the contents
Of the night’s overindulgence
Get out of love while you can
She’s my girl but I ain’t her man
Get out of love while you can
Here drink some water
So you’re not sick in the morning
Boy you know I appreciate
All the things that you do for me
Sometimes I wish that we could go it all again
Forget we decided we’re too different
Way back when
We wrote
We wrote ourselves an ending
Get out of love while you can
She’s my girl but I ain’t her man
Get out of love while you can
|
||||
86. |
Hollywood Disco Room
03:32
|
|||
|
Hollywood disco room
She’s handed a drink
To add to the people that have
Come between
Now every failure
I guess it was meant to be
Cause a crowd has gathered between
Who we used to be
I don’t know how much to blame on
The alcohol
All the ones she slurred about
In the broken call
But now all I want to be is
No one at all
I don’t believe in second chances
Or moving on
Maybe I look at things the wrong way
But it’s hard to want to leave
When your hearth wants to stay
So then it’s indecision
Holding me this way
Avoiding anything
That might increase the pain
Sun set one yesterday
And never came back up
Packed clothes in a suitcase
And said, “I’ve had enough”
Waited for the moon to shine
But he never showed his face
Guess he shone with stolen light
That vanished without a trace
Tomorrow I’ll take our memory
And throw it off a bridge
Maybe if I can’t remember
That will help me live
But thinking of tomorrow
Doesn’t help with this
All I see is disappointment
Chasing my happiness
Maybe I look at things the wrong way
But it’s hard to want to leave
When your hearth wants to stay
So then it’s indecision
Keeping me this way
Avoiding anything
That might increase the pain
I hold one shoulder low
The other up high
One represents my sorrow
The other my pride
Still haunted by the question
She asked when I said goodbye
I just don’t understand why
You didn’t even try
For happiness
Happiness
|
||||
87. |
Long Shoes (Hysterical)
02:40
|
|||
|
Waiting for
Something more
Till rain pours
Out my front door
That’s all I need
For the time being
Clock asleep
In between
I was the clown
But got let down
Buried my long shoes
Deep underground
No more messing around
Funniest joke in town
Cynical burnout
Makeup pouring down
Walking in the rain
Ridiculous baggy clothes
Stupid clamp on nose
Downtrodden hero
Met a doll
At the flood control
Said, “Out for a stroll?”
She said, “Out of control”
Her lover dear
Had disappeared
Left her in tears
Broke her mirrors
I said, “Heaven knows
We’re all alone
Companionship is just a hoax
But you’re better off than most
You’re still physical
You’re not a ghost”
Then she laughed aloud
Said, “I feel better now
No more need to drown
I like your bright red frown”
She left me on the bridge
Her new resolve to live
Her liquor cabinet
Cookies and clothes to knit
I found my way back home
Undressed from my wet clothes
Went off to bed alone
Safe, bored, and unknown
Safe, bored, and unknown
|
||||
88. |
December Died
05:00
|
|||
|
Well, December died and January was born
And it fell from the sky, all the rain that had stayed up in those clouds
And it helped me to see that I can't always be on the move
No, I need to slow down, let those raindrops drown uncertainty
With their sound in the street
Well, our last dream died and we both woke up to realize
That we drifted apart, from the blanket in the park
To the city line
And it's hard to believe that it will never be back again
But to go down that ditch is like driving towards a bridge when your feeling blue
There's no telling what you'll do
I'm here folding my waterfall of clothes
As my brother sits and sings me a new song he wrote
And we'll walk the wet streets in the dark under the moon
And we'll make the circle longer when it ends too soon
'Cause what we have to say
Cannot go to waste
It calms my aching heart
Well my high hopes died and left me with a strange new sense of peace
Now i don't have to try to become someone I would never be
So when I see you slowing down, taking that one good look around
And getting so confused
Then I'll tell you what I learned from watching all those bridges burn
Staring at my shoes
Couldn't breath and couldn't move
Now my days divide themselves up into manageable sums
I won't be paralyzed by the apathy despair finally becomes
And that's why I'm on the move with nothing to lose
But my peace of mind
And whoever I become is the same as who I was from the start
Predetermined in my heart
Well I'm gonna make a difference anyway I can
But lately I've just been leaving an aftermath
And if I tell you that I love you that's a warning sign
That I'll probably disappoint you somewhere down the line
'Cause what i have to say
It is all a waste
It's meaningless noise
|
||||
89. |
I'm Just Tired
03:17
|
|||
|
When you're in it
There's nothing you can do
Everything you loved
Doesn't matter to you
You put on your sad music
Feel sick in your room
Don't want to tell everyone who asks you
I'm just tired
When you fall in love
You forget all the bad moods
All the times you tried
And the plans just fell through
Standing in the corner
With no one to stand next to
Don't want to tell everyone who asks you
I'm just tired
I'm just tired
I'm just tired
I'm just tired
A friend calls you up and asks you
Why you've made yourself a ghost
Should say how you're feeling bad
And this time it's worse than most
So you've closed doors and windows
Been hanging out with the floor
The only one who understands
And provides the needed support
I'm just tired
I'm just tired
I'm just tired
No, I'm just tired
|
||||
90. |
||||
|
This magic moment
So different and so new
Was like any other
Until I kissed you
And then it happened
It took me by surprise
I knew that you felt it too
By the look in your eyes
Sweeter than wine
Softer than a summer night
Everything I want to have
Whenever I hold you tight
This magic moment
While your lips are close to mine
Will last forever
Forever till the end of time
Whoa oh oh
Sweeter than wine
Softer than a summer night
Everything I want to have
Whenever I hold you tight
This magic moment
While your lips are close to mine
Will last forever
Forever till the end of time
Whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh
Magic moment
Magic moment
Magic moment
Magic moment
|
||||
91. |
She's An Animal
02:28
|
|||
|
You’ve got the way
Got the way I need
When you sway
When you move your hips
You’ve got the way
Got the way I need
When you dance next to me like this
Who is this girl
Man she doesn’t talk
She just shakes and she shimmies down
Who is this girl
With the moves she’s got
I’ve sure gotta figure it out
She’s an animal
She’s an angel
She’s woman as can be
And she’s dancing next to me
You’ve got a kiss like summer wine
How’d it happen
How’d it happen to me
That girl with the moves put the moves on me
But I’ve still never heard her speak
She danced up the dance floor
Put her arms round my neck
And kissed me like I just returned
From a war or a trip
But we’ve never met
And her name I’ve never learned
She’s an animal
She’s an angel
She’s woman as can be
And she’s dancing next to me
You’ve got that kiss
Got that kiss I need
Oh kiss me oh kiss me again
You’ve got those eyes
Got those stunning eyes
I’m stunned like a ray gun stun
Oh what is your name
Won’t you tell me your name
Won’t you tell me
Won’t you tell me girl
But all she said was “dance”
So that’s what I did
And I danced like she was my whole world
Cause she is
She’s an animal
She’s an angel
She’s woman as can be
And she’s dancing next to me
|
||||
92. |
Angel Wings
02:30
|
|||
|
I've been wandering this lonely world
Wishing on stars in the sky
But found no one I could call my girl
Shining with bright shining eyes
But when you kissed me I knew my life
Could never be the same
Goddess divine with your lips of wine
Oh tell me oh tell me your name
Angel wings
And piano keys
Silver bells
They sang to me
When I tasted your lips of wine
I've been casting my messages
In bottles sent out to the sea
Hoping someone would return my love
But I knew it would never be
But when she said have you heard this one
And put on a record to spin
I knew my days of true happiness
Had begun to begin
Angel wings
And piano keys
Silver bells
They sang to me
When I tasted your lips of wine
Attachments area
|
||||
93. |
The War On Christmas
02:43
|
|||
|
This Christmas it will rain American bombs
On my family and friends
The War on Terror is terror on us
But you're raising a fuss about Starbucks cups
My cousin was buried when the roof came crashing down
My father was crying when he tried to dig him out
Of the rubble
The War on Christmas is overseas
Out of sight out of mind to your shopping spree
You'll see that I died on your Twitter feed
But you'll laugh in due time cause life is a meme
A serviceman's wife cries in an Arlington row
Leaves a reef hanging on his gravestone white as snow
It was friendly fire that finally brought him home
From his fourth tour said he didn't want to go
Miss another New Years with her
This Christmas it will rain American bombs
All over the place
Wipe life off the face of the Earth
Nuclear winter
|
||||
94. |
Insufficient Funds
04:27
|
|||
|
So much for coming together
So much for turning the other cheek
So pick your side to dehumanize
Cause there are no sidelines anymore
So much for representation
So much for Lady Liberty
So much for a retro future
So much for that hippie dream
Cannonballs in the morning
Cannonballs in the night
Cannonballs in the city
And the countryside
Cause the market's going up now
The market's going down
There's the head and shoulders
There's the dead cat bounce
I love your cupcake smile
I love your belligerent laugh
I love your whiskey meanness
And I love your tequila shine
Kiss me dear
I need affection
Something near
And physical
These funhouse mirrors
Alley's of not me's
Silicon Valley's slot machine
Scrolling in the morning
Scrolling in the night
Scrolling in the city
And the countryside
Sitting in my office desk chair
Trying to escape the rat race
Sitting in the movie theater
Mapping out the exit ways
Mass shooting in the morning
Mass shooting in the night
Mass shooting in the city
And the countryside
Dead bodies in the schoolyard
Dead bodies at the bar
Dead bodies in the churches
And the amusement parks
What's this strange ache
Under my ribs now
What's this strange twitching
In my hand
I'd see a doctor
But not sure its covered
But my catastrophic
Insurance plan
Debt Collectors on my phone now
Debt Collectors at my door
Debt Collectors escorting me
To bankruptcy court
My crime was that I got sick
My crime was being poor
So my countrymen consigned me
To bankruptcy court
More budget for
Endless conflict
Revolving door
Backroom deals
My blanket fort
Of an opinion
Is nothing more
Than spinning wheels
Yes we need to stay here
No we cannot leave
This is a matter of
National Security
How can we afford it
News anchors always ask
Except when it's for the
Next overseas attack
Nothing can be done
They say
Insufficient funds
They say
Nothing can be done
We say
Insufficient funds
Okay okay okay
|
||||
95. |
Northrop Grumman
02:06
|
|||
|
Riling them up for War
Shaking hands with Northrop Grumman
Behind closed doors
The soldier kills and kills for peace
But they keep moving the goal posts
Out of reach
Protesters wave American flags
And shout support our troops
A homeless man passes their way
Wearing combat boots
No one knows why we’re still here
They promise that we’re going home
Year after year
Bureaucrats in fancy ties
Have never told a parent
That their son has died
We sure no how to burn it down
The houses burn for weeks
But we haven’t figured it out
How to pack it up and leave
|
||||
96. |
Bullet from a Shiny Gun
01:04
|
|||
|
Dear Senator
Are you ready for the guillotine
Dear Lobbyist
Are you ready to line up against the wall
You robbed us blind
You had your time
Now here’s a bullet from a shiny gun
You sold to us
Dear Congressman
Are you ready for an angry crowd
To break the windows
And drag you from your great big house
Couldn’t pay the rent
This is how we vent
Now here’s a bullet from a shiny gun
You sold to us
|
||||
97. |
Closed for the Weekend
01:49
|
|||
|
Summer swimming pool
In California
Stock market’s closed for the weekend
Slept in till a quarter past two
All these concert kids
Are pompous assholes
Singing sentimental drivel shit
I’m pretentious too but in my own way
But at least I make a joke of it
Falling in love
Falling in love
Falling in love
Is easy
Make your move
Falling in love
Falling in love
Falling in love
Is easy
Make your move
|
||||
98. |
||||
|
The sun set like an alarm clock
Coloring the sky with God
Some saw a reminder
And reblogged the sacred psalms
I used up my excuses
To stay the way I am
But all I really feel is useless
There’s nothing I understand
The sound like ambulance
Sirens in my brain
The birds are in the branches
And the planet is insane
Off to war we go
Smoke billowing in the sky
Off to bed I go
Sleeping peaceful
Through the night
I wasn’t there
I do not care
I wasn’t there
I do not care
Live and let live
Live and let die
|
||||
99. |
Limit LA Party Exposure
02:45
|
|||
|
Easy to get lost in your head at a party
Where there’s no one you know too well
Tried to watch the ironic movie
They chose so everyone could tell
That they don’t take themselves too seriously
Even though they do
The overly friendly bohemian crew
Tries to get through to you
Lock yourself in the bathroom
To write some angry poetry
Why do these places feel so weird
And make you want to leave
You find me out on the patio
Talking about God
To someone I barely know
And by now have forgot
Rambling on about divine love
Pouring from our hearts
Pseudo science, ESP
And reading Zenner cards
You say when do you want to leave
But I don’t because I’m drunk
Thankfully you are my DD
And you have better luck
Driving around in LA
Gives me anxiety
That’s why I almost always stay
In orange county
But you grew up with a tougher crowd
And my friends are too white
They left the church and left the faith
But they couldn’t leave the vibe
So you see them as fake
And I see them as nice
To me it’s all the same
To you it’s a waste of time
But when you’re home
In the comfort of your room
You’re free to
Be you
|
||||
100. |
Horoscopic
03:19
|
|||
|
Don’t worry about tomorrow
You’ve been wrong too many times
To trust your gut feeling
To trust your intuition
Things got better
When you said they’d get worse
There’s no tarot card
There’s no Horoscope
Predicting what will happen next
There’s no lucid dream
There’s no guiding ghost
Yeah it seems we’re on our own
Then again
Who knows?
One free miracle
The Universe expanding
Then it’s shopping malls
And getting stuck in traffic
Drinking alcohol
Believing in magic
Synchronicities
You’re sure came from Jesus
But I can’t bend the spoon
Or deny it’s existence
All these chemical
That make me bare witness
To the polarization of my own home country
The polar icecaps sink
Die with the coral reefs
|
||||
101. |
The Rapids
03:14
|
|||
|
My darling’s across the sea
Or might as well be
I can’t find my footing
I’ve fallen asleep
In the passenger seat
Life happens to me
The tires are screeching
There’s cops on the scene
I see her face on a screen
Sweeter than a good dream
Is there a tomorrow we’re all wondering
Singing don’t let this get you down
Swim for your life
This is no time to drown
Well you fell from the raft
In the rapids you reach
Will you crash on the rocks
Or wash up on the beach
Well the world’s topsy-turvy
And forever changed
The system was frail
And the structure deranged
But you’re blue eyes they shine
You cut your hair that’s a sign
Like a horoscope message
Saying now is the time
Rise up with the tide
Swaying in the moonlight
Thank god we are dancers
Not a prudish church choir
Singing don’t let them steal this one
The Earth is the people’s
Flowers over guns
I’ll see you in the mountains
Underneath the trees
A fire and a camp chair
All as it should be
The river clear as daylight
Forest full of life
No light pollution tonight
Just stars in a black sky
|
||||
102. |
Beats Being Alone
02:19
|
|||
|
Look outside the window
Snow is coming down
But it’s warm inside this cabin
In this ghost town
I know they say
I never thought I’d find someone like you
But I wasn’t too worried
I always just assumed
It’s kinda nice to feel good
It’s kinda something new
Maybe it’s contagious
Did I catch it from you
I was pretty happy flying solo
My own bed in my own room
Those nights alone
But now that you’re here
I wouldn’t take that life back
Cause this is better than that
Surrounded by all this snow
Me and you in blankets burrowed
Nowhere else to go
I won’t say maybe
I won’t say almost
I’ll say it clear
So everybody knows
I’ll say this beats being alone
Yeah I’ll say it
I’ll say this beats being alone
|
||||
103. |
The Rafters
02:49
|
|||
|
The Rafters
Standing in an empty vacant church
Deserted years ago
Turtle Doves in the rafters
Look like they gave up hope
Of ever finding Noah’s Ark
Buried somewhere in the snow
Dropping Olive branches in my arms
At the end of a country road
The feeling I’m trying to find always disappears
I’ve got a bottle of wine guess i’m sleeping here
Laying on my friends couch
Watching his TV
Said he’s gone for the weekend
Just use the hide-a-key
Try to keep it down after ten
Or the neighbors hit the walls
So many strange sounds in the apartment
I’m hoping someone calls
The feeling I’m trying to find always disappears
I’ve got a bottle of wine guess i’m sleeping here
Looking through the windows of a store
To see if they’re still closed
The sign said open but the door is locked
So it looks like a no go
All the small shops are shutting down
Cause the rent got too damn high
So now here comes another chain
To replace the little guy
The feeling I’m trying to find always disappears
I’ve got a bottle of wine guess i’m sleeping here
|
||||
104. |
Book Burning
01:16
|
|||
|
You
Traveling past the border wall
Neglected as the sea level
Back when the trollers combed the deep
You and I
Haven’t been on the best of terms
But I held you when the books were burned
Felt like the end of time
The other day
I saw a wild animal
Scurry away like a trespasser
Nearly fell onto my knees
|
||||
105. |
Put the Axe Down
00:32
|
|||
|
Maybe you should go to sleep baby
You’re acting a little crazy
Like Michael Meyer from Halloween
Put the knife down and try to dream
Don’t take another shot of whiskey
Make you as sociable as Ted Kaczynski
It’s past your bedtime it’s time to leave
Put the axe away and find your things
|
||||
106. |
||||
|
Well maybe the ending is every night
When you give up shut the lights off and close your eyes
Burned out like a candle that wont stay lit
It ran it’s course and now it’s tossed in the trash bin
Summer comes and summer goes
Winter comes and winter goes
New clothes become old clothes
Untimely deaths become new ghosts
First tries become failures
Fall backwards and forwards
Like a brave ship crushed by the tide
Like a brave crush who got tongue tied
Like a country that sends its young to die
For a statue of a flag pool
Placed on an island beach
Of our allies once called our enemies
And we once believed in liberty
Now we’re burning private property
Cause the teargas made our children weep
When they were trampled by police
And the lobbyist picks up the phone
Calls the plutocrat says you're on your own
The people will not let me sleep
They’re honking car horns on my street
And they’re rolling out the guillotine
Chanting inequality
Tried to tell them how to reach your yacht
But I have an address you do not
So it will be my head on the poll
And they’ll never reach who truly rules
So enjoy your bank account off shore
Stealing every penny from the poor
Cause the power is decentralized
So we came up with a compromise
We’ll destroy each symbol you hold dear
Till the ruling class must live in fear
Oh something’s truly wrong with me
Please wake me up this is a dream
Death as far as I can see
Please wake me up this is a dream
|
||||
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